Strange Legacy

Experience: The Binding Essence of Life

I had a pretty unpleasant experience this weekend. I decided it was finally time to get around to doing some work on the yard; my little girl (who is two years old) was outside with me, and wanted to play inside one my cars. I figured there was no harm in this, and opened the door. After a few minutes of work, I would take a peek back at the car to make certain that she and it were alright. I repeated this process about five or six times…that’s when it happened.

It’s one of those moments where time slows down – you’re not really sure you’re seeing what you’re seeing because the shock overwhelms your capacity to accept it. You see, Daddy’s little angel had gotten into the glove box and discovered a black, permanent marker, which she was graciously using to “decorate” the leather of the driver’s seat. I could almost see myself, running in slow motion – yelling for her stop. Unfortunately, the damage was done. As I’ve sought to find the positive in this experience, I realize that this is one of the “memorable moments” that may be upsetting today, but will be something that my daughter and I joke about several years from now.

A little over a week ago I posted an article on developing one’s competitive spirit. This article discussed the importance of choosing and fighting our daily battles in such a way that we can look back on our lives and see a treasure trove of amazing experience. I’ve given this a little more thought since then, and in light of the “memorable experience” that I and my little girl shared, I hope you’ll let me impart some new ideas I’ve had on this subject.

I believe that outstanding experience is the binding essence of life. It is the basis for all meaningful attachment. Think about it: friends become friends by sharing significant experiences; families draw closer through the same – even lovers fall in love because of the memories they make together. I’ve certainly validated this principle in my career as a sales manager – the best way to retain new sales agents (an occupation known for its outrageously high turnover) is to help them quickly experience the thrill of making a sale and earning a solid paycheck; such moments can lead to years of faithful work and service. Nevertheless, beyond binding us to people, places and events, I believe that our experiences also bind us to who we are.

Ask yourself, “Who am I? “What do I believe?” Your answers to these questions are likely driven by significant, memorable moments in your life: an important discussion with a parent or other mentor, a moment of clarity or enlightenment – perhaps even a harrowing event or personal tragedy. These outstanding experiences leave an impression on our minds and souls, and introduce us to new people, circumstances and beliefs.

Sometimes prosperity and security can be a tremendous curse; when life is running smoothly it is easy to get caught in an insignificant, daily routine of habit. We begin to run on auto-pilot and stop seeking these memorable moments. One day bleeds into the next with nothing special to recommend it. In such a state we exist only as quickened shells – undead zombies, if you will – who have lost their connection to the true essence of life.

While life sometimes generously provides a memorable moment now-and-then, it is largely up to us to proactively seek out these kinds of experiences – experiences which are essential to our personal growth and evolution. While I might not define my experience this weekend as life-altering, I have learned some important lessons about leaving two-year-olds unattended – and perhaps a little more about the love that comes from forgiving kids for being kids. Beyond the relationships we forge with others, perhaps the greatest connection that significant memories will provide is the bond we create with our own lives. Such experience will provide the necessary context for us to discover and appreciate who we really are.

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